How to manage your Emotional Wellness for your continued happiness and success.

It has been a pleasure sharing details on aspects pertaining to your Mental Health & Wellness. Today, we will share a few insights on a very important and critical aspect of your life. Although we do not neglect this aspect, when we face problems related to it, we are at a loss as to how to deal with them. We even hesitate to talk about them at the cost of ridicule.

When we are young, we are not encouraged to express ourselves. On the contrary, we are told to suppress them. This thought process continues even as we grow up, complete our education, and start working. So what aspect are we talking about? We are talking about Emotions. We do not realise the impact of our emotions on our Emotional Wellness.

As children, we tend to express our emotions of free will without thinking of the consequences. Hence, our elders tell us to control them, thinking it is the wrong thing to do. As we grow up, this conditioning from our childhood about not expressing emotions is engrained within us that we tend to suppress them for various reasons. While it is good to maintain a certain level of emotional control, it may not be desirable in all situations. So how much and what do we need to do about it?  

Importance of Emotions

It is a general tendency to associate emotions with crying or emotional outbursts. However, it goes beyond that. There are many emotions – both positive and negative. They help us react to situations and guide our behaviour, actions, decisions, etc. Through our emotions, we are able to communicate with others, who can identify what is going on within us and vice versa.

If one is happy or sad, it is not difficult to ascertain one’s state of mind even in the absence of vocal expression or external manifestation. However, it is important to have the right mindset to identify it. This world of fast-changing technology and tough competition is making us mechanical and robotic. While it is good to be tech-savvy, it is also extremely important to maintain and retain the human touch and emotions. The whole world witnessed the traumatic pandemic, which left no one untouched, unnerved and unaffected. Even those who did not contract the illness were left drained and mentally affected. Why? The inability to handle the situation, and the lack of emotional connection and personal touch left everyone unsettled and emotionally unstable. Therefore, the need to remain emotionally connected and aware of how to handle difficult situations becomes very essential.   

In the good old days, organisations used to focus mostly on the Intelligence Quotient (IQ) levels of prospective employees. However, the trend changed over the years and they realised that along with IQ, Emotional Quotient (EQ) is even more critical. Therefore, nowadays, there are various assessments and tests to assess the EQ levels of individuals before they are hired. At the same time, it is important to maintain a balance between the two in both personal and professional lives.

How do your Emotions affect your wellness?

We define Emotional Wellness as…

“The ability to control and manage emotions, handle crises, mood swings, become effective in decision making, increase dependability and respect, and become an emotionally stable person.”

Worldwide studies show that if individuals cannot handle their emotions effectively over a prolonged duration, they could have major repercussions on their stress levels, mental health, and overall wellness.

An overview of how you could achieve Emotional Wellness. There are four focus areas:

1. Mutual Help

Though many of us hesitate to talk about our problems, it is important to share them with anyone who cares about you and your wellbeing – be it professional or personal. This will not only help you to de-stress but also get a different perspective to help solve the problem.  This aspect needs to be mutual. Should others also be in a similar situation, you should be around to help them if they need you. However, any kind of help taken or provided should be unconditional. If there is an ulterior motive to help someone or receive help through an emotional crisis, then it is not going to help and may be counter-productive. The famous saying – A friend in need is a friend indeed – is most applicable in such situations.

Various reasons may cause emotional upheavals in one’s life – relationships, finances, career, etc. If you have people to help you during your challenging times, it will bring in a sigh of relief. Here help does not only mean lending you money or getting you a job, etc. but also relevant advice as to how to manage that particular problem. For e.g. – if you have a guide, mentor, or subject matter experts in the relevant areas mentioned above, they also will enable you to overcome mental stress and avoid emotional imbalance. At the same time, it is important to understand that you may always not have people around to help you. Therefore, you should learn or develop the ability to deal with these situations. 

2. Ability to deal with situations

We all face crises and go through rough and tough times in life. During these times, the support of our family, friends, and colleagues is indeed a blessing. However, constant external dependency to help solve problems will not allow you to think of solutions on your own. Moreover, when faced with a crisis and with no one around, it could have major negative consequences. Therefore, to increase your confidence in handling your emotions effectively and single-handedly, learn the art of doing so by depending on your intelligence, skills, experience, attitude, knowledge, etc. These aspects will enable you to take the required decisions at a given point in time. You may always not get the desired results, but it would be a positive step forward to taking a decision and solving the problem yourself.

Through your experience and skills, you will be able to control your emotions instead of acting in a hasty manner. Give a calm thought before jumping in to handle any situation. Haste makes waste. Any untoward action, behaviour, or words expressed in haste will not only have a negative impact on the person you are dealing with but also on your mental frame of mind and peace. You may display such behaviour thinking that you were right and hence the right thing to do.

Human beings have a tendency to think that most of the time they are right and others are wrong. Subsequently, when one gets to know and understand that it was their fault, it is important to feel sorry and then apologise to handle the situation. This is applicable in our personal and professional lives. Think of the reverse. If you were subject to somebody’s mistaken or unnecessary wrath and harsh words, how would you feel? Would it not affect your emotions and frame of mind? Therefore, you need to have the right knowledge, skills, and attitude to handle situations.

3. Your emotional expressions

As human beings, we have natural instincts and express our emotions and feelings, whether joy, grief, anger, calmness, etc. While it is good to express emotions, the way you express them is vital. A loud and extreme display of any emotion can negatively affect you and those around you. The emotions of certain people oscillate like a pendulum. They should avoid it as others could misinterpret it with unpleasant consequences. It is also important to review a situation before you react. Act in haste and repent in leisure – is never an accepted proposition. Giving yourself time to think will help you in exercising emotional control.

Please keep in mind that you should not deny your emotions, but learn to manage and control them. Denying your emotions may affect your mental health and emotional balance. In addition, suppressing your negative emotions may lead to violent emotional outbursts at a later stage and frequent recurrences will have undesirable consequences. Not expressing positive emotions when it is required could also have a negative impact. People may consider you rude, indifferent, and not a team player. Therefore, it is important to maintain a balance in your emotional expressions.

4. Your ecosystem

If you maintain the above balance, the people in your ecosystem will look up to you and appreciate you. They know that if they approach you for anything, you will lend them a patient ear. They will respect you and will be there when you need them. We are living in a society and not in isolation. Therefore, in a crisis or a happy situation, if people in your ecosystem are there for you and stand by you, you feel at peace. You will also feel confident that no matter what, you have people on whom you can fall back on. That confidence will help you go a long way both in your personal and professional life.

Since it is to do with you and your ecosystem, remember, do unto others as you would want others to do unto you. If you treat people in a particular manner, they would respond to you in a similar fashion. It is not a one-way street.  We all want and seek love, care, appreciation, and respect. If we are able to get it from the people we care for and reciprocate to them, it will take our emotional stability and emotional wellness to much greater levels. We simply cannot do without Emotional Wellness because…

Emotional Wellness is as important as Breathing is!

Start managing your Emotional Wellness…NOW.

Ajay Mahajan | Sadhana Rao |

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